Fear & Resistance

Blogging is freaking me out right now!

Yes, I’ve been busy and distracted the past few months with the house being on the market, car issues, and the upcoming holidays, but I’ve also felt a resistance that has been keeping me from completing half-finished posts. I’m a little bit at a crossroads of how to move forward.

I’m the type of person who wants things to be done right and if I can’t do whatever needs to be done as well as it needs to, I tend to give up and walk away. This is why I dabble in a lot of different things, but I’m not really a master of anything… There are a lot of things that I enjoy, but when it comes to working hard, sacrificing, and focusing on only one particular thing I tend to back off at some point. Maybe it’s because I don’t like to put pressure or stress on myself, I’m afraid of failing, or I don’t want to look like an idiot. If I’m being honest, it’s probably all of the above!

Trust me, I’m not trying to take myself too seriously with this blogging stuff, but I do want to contribute something that’s meaningful – something that matters. I love reading what my contemporaries have to say and feeling connected to their dreams and struggles. It is encouraging to be a part of a community full of young Christian wives and mothers trying to live their vocations the best that they can! I admire what so many other bloggers are doing. It’s easy, though, to start feeling inadequate and to question the importance of my little voice being heard among the crowd.

Something that I have come to realize recently is that I shouldn’t really be focusing so much on what kind of unique perspective I can offer, but just focusing on the truth that God is revealing to me. I have been doing a lot of great reading lately by saintly authors and so many ideas are linking together and overlapping so much that I know what I’m reading is true. There is something to be said about the cliches “great minds think alike” and “there is power in numbers!” The more we Christians speak the truth and share our faith journey, the more we may have an impact on others. The more that the messages we share are alike, the better!

Many of us are at different points in our relationship with Jesus. Some people are further along the journey and some are just starting to put things together, but there are those out there who are right there with us and something just might click and make sense in a way that others wouldn’t be able to do. I’m talking as much to myself as to anybody when I say, “Keep sharing your God-given wisdom and personal story!”

I know that this fear I’m dealing with right now of “not being good enough” is coming from Satan. I’m determined to resist the temptation to take the easy road and keep my blog on the back-burner. The devil wants me to keep my mouth shut and my fingers off the keyboard.

I know that what I write may not always be “Strunk and White”-approved or contain eloquent revelations, but I’m not going to let that stop me from offering encouragement and evangelizing. I also don’t want to cut ties with these amazing ladies who constantly inspire me and give me hope in this crazy, broken world (see blogroll below for some of my favorites).

Thanks to those of you who have checked in on A Dreamer’s Wife now-and-then. I appreciate your support and I plan to fit blogging into my life as much as I can in the upcoming months. I will be grateful for any prayers as I re-focus on my blog’s future and my Faithful Dreamers project (that I can’t wait to share one of these days). God bless and dream big!

Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. Do not be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows. -Luke 12:7

Tags: blogging, evangelization, faith, Fear, inspiration