Tag Archives: husband

‘Tis the Season

14 Sep

No, this is not a holiday post! Keep reading and you’ll see the reason for the title!

The past month or two, I have had so many new ideas and inspirations that I’ve been trying to keep up with in addition to working, caring for my girls, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, getting enough sleep, etc., that I find myself wondering where I’m going to find the time that I need to devote to all of these different areas. I know nobody else knows what I’m talking about, right?! Ha! I know we all wish we could scrounge up a little more time each day! I’m preaching to the choir!

Anyway, there is a chapter in the book What’s Submission Got to Do With It? by Cindy Easley that addresses how womens’ lives tend to consist of different stages. In this chapter, titled “The Power Broker,” Easley uses her interview with family advocate Janet Parshall, of Janet Parshall’s America, a nationally syndicated radio program. On page 102, Parshall states, “Women do lead lives different than men. We lead lives in seasons, and something is rich and precious and enduring in each one. In each season, God would inevitably teach me something that would be used in the following season. I don’t think God would have called me to a pro-family organization if I hadn’t had those years at home raising four kids. It would have been a hollow apologetic. I had to know the nitty-gritty of raising kids before I’d be allowed to work in public policy that would facilitate our raising kids.”

And on page 109, she also says:

Feminists say, ‘You can have it all.’ But they practice the sin of omission. You should say, ‘You can have it all-but you can’t have it all at the same time.’

I’ve been thinking about these two quotes often lately as I try to prioritize what I give my time to the best that I can. I’m trying to not get discouraged about the things I can’t get to quite yet and take things day-by-day. I know that God is teaching me things and planting seeds for his future plans for me. I love being a mother and a wife and these roles are the most important to me-they are my calling! Whatever I do needs to support these vocations. One more thing that Parshall noted in her interview with Easley regarded how she respected her husband and trusted the Lord regarding career plans and other decisions.

Everytime the path has made another turn, it has absolutely been in harmony and parallel to what God is calling [my husband] to do.

I really, really love this, because it makes me feel like what I’m doing now and the future goals that I have are even more meaningful because they are tied to Adam’s dreams and what we believe to be God’s will. When I know that what my husband and I are doing is compatible, it gives me more confidence and motivation to continue taking steps in faith!

Right now, I’m embracing the crazy/wonderful/tired-most-of-the-time/blink-and-you’ll-miss-it season of raising two young children and building dreams for our family!

What season are you in? If you’re married, how are your dreams compatible with your spouse’s?

Photo Credit: freedigitalphotos.net

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Perfect Timing

25 Jul

After my last blog post, my cousin Cynthia emailed me a passage from the book, The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian.  It fit in exactly with where I’m at in life right now and what I hope to be and do.   Ironically, this book was given to me by a friend (Thanks, Laurie!) about a year or so ago and is sitting on my shelf unread still… I think it’s about time to dust it off and get reading!  All in God’s timing, right?

Here it is:

“Whatever God has called your husband to be or do, He has also called you to support it and be a part of it, if in no other way than to pray, encourage, and help in whatever way possible.  For some women that means creating a good home, raising the children, being there for him, and offering prayer support.  Other women may take an active role by becoming a partner or helper.  In either case, God does not ask you to deny your own personhood in the process.  God has called you to something, too.  But it will fit in with whatever your husband’s calling is, it will not be in conflict with it.  God is not the author of confusion, strife, or unworkable situations.  He is a God of perfect timing.  There is a time for everything, the Bible says.  The timing to do what God has called each of you to do will work out perfectly, if it’s submitted to God.  
If your husband is already moving in the purpose for which God has called him, you can count on the enemy of his soul coming to cast doubt – especially if he hasn’t yet seen anything close to the finished picture or realized the success he had envisioned.  Your prayers can help cast away discouragement and keep if from taking hold.  It can help your husband to hear and cling to God’s revelation.  It can cause him to live his life on purpose.” 

I love this whole paragraph, but what really struck me were the last few sentences.  Adam is so jaded after failed projects that I think he’s a little hesitant.  He’s been trusting in me and God to start this new journey.  I know he’s excited about it, but I think he’s waiting for some more things to get going before he’ll feel like it’s real and what he’s supposed to do.  In the meantime, I’ll keep working, planning, praying and believing!

Have a great rest of the week, everyone!

above image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Just a Glorified Personal Assistant?

5 Sep

In my continuous pursuit to be a better mother and wife, I am often attracted to books that address these topics.  Last weekend, I finished reading When a Woman Inspires Her Husband by Cindi McMenamin.  There was even an entire chapter dedicated solely to a wife encouraging her husband to dream, so I think it is definitely appropriate to write about what I gleaned from this book in my blog!

When a Woman Inspires Her Husband was mainly based on the fact that men need to feel respected in a relationship and want to feel successful in what they do.   Many of the things that I read, were not necessarily new to me, but it was a great reminder of how much sacrifice is required to have a truly healthy marriage.  I’ll be honest, though, that there was a point when I was reading this book that I started to get a little upset.  I felt McMenamin wrote this book for women in the 1950’s.  It was like she practically assumed that the wives reading this book would only have responsibilities within the home and that the husband was the sole income-earner.  I’m not a stay-at-home mom.  I am the one in our family with the stable income.   I don’t have time to cook every night.  My house would not pass a white glove test pretty much any day of the week.  After reading the chapters about “Easing his Burdens”, “Making His Home a Sanctuary”, and “Giving Him Breathing Room”, I practically felt like McMenamin was describing the job of a personal assistant.

When I was thinking about this during my commute to work one morning, I thought of the verse, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).  And then I realized that sacrificing my selfish wants and dying to myself every day is laying my life down for my husband.  Interestingly enough, McMenamin actually refers to this same verse towards the end of her book.  Do I have a lot on my plate? Yes.  Is my number one priority the well-being of my husband and family? Yes.  Do I have a lot to learn still about being a good wife? Yes.  McMenamin used a great quote from the book 6 Secrets to a Lasting Love by Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg: “The more encouragement and affirmation he receives from his wife, the easier it will be for him to discern God’s voice.”  Consider me humbled.  And if that isn’t enough, check out this take on the well-known passage in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 that McMenamin refers to from The Message:

“Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Love doesn’t strut,

Doesn’t have a swelled head,

Doesn’t force itself on others,

Isn’t always “me first,”

Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

The biggest thing that I took away from this book was that I need to let Adam lead.  Often times, I am the planner and the organizer, so I automatically tend to make decisions or have an idea already in my mind.  So combine my female multitasking ability with a personality-type that trusts my own judgment to logically evaluate the best option, and you can see why this would be a challenge at times.  This was a wake-up call to me, though, that I need to step back and let my husband be the one to evaluate and make final decisions (still with my input of course, wink!).

At least there is one area where I feel like I do a good job, and that is encouraging Adam’s dream of having a successful career in music.  McMenamin talks about wives being a cheerleader for their husbands, and I can say without a doubt, I am my husband’s biggest fan!  Let’s be real – I started a blog on this topic, people!  Despite the current financial instability and lack of a clear path, I trust that God has a purpose for my husband’s musical gifts.  I hope that my unwavering belief has been, and will continue to be, inspiring to Adam.  I think that’s a main reason why God put me in his life.  And I’m thankful that I have a husband who tries to see how his musical aspirations fit into his family life and not how his family can fit around his music!

I will continue to work on having a servant’s heart, but I know my vocation of being a wife is more than just being a glorified personal assistant!