Tag Archives: wife

‘Tis the Season

14 Sep

No, this is not a holiday post! Keep reading and you’ll see the reason for the title!

The past month or two, I have had so many new ideas and inspirations that I’ve been trying to keep up with in addition to working, caring for my girls, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, getting enough sleep, etc., that I find myself wondering where I’m going to find the time that I need to devote to all of these different areas. I know nobody else knows what I’m talking about, right?! Ha! I know we all wish we could scrounge up a little more time each day! I’m preaching to the choir!

Anyway, there is a chapter in the book What’s Submission Got to Do With It? by Cindy Easley that addresses how womens’ lives tend to consist of different stages. In this chapter, titled “The Power Broker,” Easley uses her interview with family advocate Janet Parshall, of Janet Parshall’s America, a nationally syndicated radio program. On page 102, Parshall states, “Women do lead lives different than men. We lead lives in seasons, and something is rich and precious and enduring in each one. In each season, God would inevitably teach me something that would be used in the following season. I don’t think God would have called me to a pro-family organization if I hadn’t had those years at home raising four kids. It would have been a hollow apologetic. I had to know the nitty-gritty of raising kids before I’d be allowed to work in public policy that would facilitate our raising kids.”

And on page 109, she also says:

Feminists say, ‘You can have it all.’ But they practice the sin of omission. You should say, ‘You can have it all-but you can’t have it all at the same time.’

I’ve been thinking about these two quotes often lately as I try to prioritize what I give my time to the best that I can. I’m trying to not get discouraged about the things I can’t get to quite yet and take things day-by-day. I know that God is teaching me things and planting seeds for his future plans for me. I love being a mother and a wife and these roles are the most important to me-they are my calling! Whatever I do needs to support these vocations. One more thing that Parshall noted in her interview with Easley regarded how she respected her husband and trusted the Lord regarding career plans and other decisions.

Everytime the path has made another turn, it has absolutely been in harmony and parallel to what God is calling [my husband] to do.

I really, really love this, because it makes me feel like what I’m doing now and the future goals that I have are even more meaningful because they are tied to Adam’s dreams and what we believe to be God’s will. When I know that what my husband and I are doing is compatible, it gives me more confidence and motivation to continue taking steps in faith!

Right now, I’m embracing the crazy/wonderful/tired-most-of-the-time/blink-and-you’ll-miss-it season of raising two young children and building dreams for our family!

What season are you in? If you’re married, how are your dreams compatible with your spouse’s?

Photo Credit: freedigitalphotos.net

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Perfect Timing

25 Jul

After my last blog post, my cousin Cynthia emailed me a passage from the book, The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian.  It fit in exactly with where I’m at in life right now and what I hope to be and do.   Ironically, this book was given to me by a friend (Thanks, Laurie!) about a year or so ago and is sitting on my shelf unread still… I think it’s about time to dust it off and get reading!  All in God’s timing, right?

Here it is:

“Whatever God has called your husband to be or do, He has also called you to support it and be a part of it, if in no other way than to pray, encourage, and help in whatever way possible.  For some women that means creating a good home, raising the children, being there for him, and offering prayer support.  Other women may take an active role by becoming a partner or helper.  In either case, God does not ask you to deny your own personhood in the process.  God has called you to something, too.  But it will fit in with whatever your husband’s calling is, it will not be in conflict with it.  God is not the author of confusion, strife, or unworkable situations.  He is a God of perfect timing.  There is a time for everything, the Bible says.  The timing to do what God has called each of you to do will work out perfectly, if it’s submitted to God.  
If your husband is already moving in the purpose for which God has called him, you can count on the enemy of his soul coming to cast doubt – especially if he hasn’t yet seen anything close to the finished picture or realized the success he had envisioned.  Your prayers can help cast away discouragement and keep if from taking hold.  It can help your husband to hear and cling to God’s revelation.  It can cause him to live his life on purpose.” 

I love this whole paragraph, but what really struck me were the last few sentences.  Adam is so jaded after failed projects that I think he’s a little hesitant.  He’s been trusting in me and God to start this new journey.  I know he’s excited about it, but I think he’s waiting for some more things to get going before he’ll feel like it’s real and what he’s supposed to do.  In the meantime, I’ll keep working, planning, praying and believing!

Have a great rest of the week, everyone!

above image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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November’s Dreamer in the Spotlight

30 Nov

The young woman that I’m featuring this month is truly an inspiration!  Her name is Katie Davis and  I ran across an article about her story last month in the Tennessean.  She is a perfect example of how God can use each of us to do extraordinary things if we will listen and be open to whatever He asks.  Easier said that done, right?  I’m sure a lot of people were skeptical of her plans and worried about her, but she is making a difference and shedding God’s light on so many lives!

Please click on the following headline to read the online version of “At 22, woman is mom to 13 Ugandan children”.

As the article mentions, she also has a blog called Kisses from Katie and recently released a book by the same name.  I’m looking forward to checking it out when I get some time.  She makes me think about how amazing it would be if all of us embraced God’s plan for our lives! The bible verse “Yet not as I will, but as YOU will (Matthew 26: 39)” is the status on Amazima Minstries‘ Facebook page!

(photo above courtesy of africa via http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1803)

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Side note:  I realized after I published my previous post, that I forgot to include a main part of my sleep deprivation story, so I’ll include it below.  This is just a perfect example of my mommy brain in action!  Here we go…

As I mentioned, I had a week where I was very irritable and unpleasant towards Adam.  That Saturday, while Adam was working, I cleaned the house and did several chores while watching the girls.  I even had time to make dinner.  I felt like I was being a good wife/mother and wanted Adam to feel relaxed when he arrived home.  Of course, shortly after he walked through the door, my attitude and moodiness overshadowed my good intentions and homemaking skills as my exhaustion kicked in after a long, busy day.  I made sure Adam knew what a heavy load I carried and complained about all of my responsibilities.  So much for him relaxing, huh?

The next morning, we went to Mass and the first reading was from Proverbs 31.  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing!  I felt like God was specifically talking to me and I started to cry, because I wanted to be a good wife and was ashamed of how I had been acting.  I had been blaming Adam for not helping me, when I should have been asking the Lord for grace and strength to deal with a tough time.  Sometimes it can be discouraging to just “suck it up and deal with it” when mothers have to continuously sacrifice, but I know that it is a privilege and a blessing to be called to marriage and to be able to raise children.

The sum of all of this is:  Husbands, help your wives get sleep and they won’t be so psycho and will be more appreciative of all of their blessings!  I know Adam has seen the benefits of a more rested wife already!

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Just a Glorified Personal Assistant?

5 Sep

In my continuous pursuit to be a better mother and wife, I am often attracted to books that address these topics.  Last weekend, I finished reading When a Woman Inspires Her Husband by Cindi McMenamin.  There was even an entire chapter dedicated solely to a wife encouraging her husband to dream, so I think it is definitely appropriate to write about what I gleaned from this book in my blog!

When a Woman Inspires Her Husband was mainly based on the fact that men need to feel respected in a relationship and want to feel successful in what they do.   Many of the things that I read, were not necessarily new to me, but it was a great reminder of how much sacrifice is required to have a truly healthy marriage.  I’ll be honest, though, that there was a point when I was reading this book that I started to get a little upset.  I felt McMenamin wrote this book for women in the 1950’s.  It was like she practically assumed that the wives reading this book would only have responsibilities within the home and that the husband was the sole income-earner.  I’m not a stay-at-home mom.  I am the one in our family with the stable income.   I don’t have time to cook every night.  My house would not pass a white glove test pretty much any day of the week.  After reading the chapters about “Easing his Burdens”, “Making His Home a Sanctuary”, and “Giving Him Breathing Room”, I practically felt like McMenamin was describing the job of a personal assistant.

When I was thinking about this during my commute to work one morning, I thought of the verse, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).  And then I realized that sacrificing my selfish wants and dying to myself every day is laying my life down for my husband.  Interestingly enough, McMenamin actually refers to this same verse towards the end of her book.  Do I have a lot on my plate? Yes.  Is my number one priority the well-being of my husband and family? Yes.  Do I have a lot to learn still about being a good wife? Yes.  McMenamin used a great quote from the book 6 Secrets to a Lasting Love by Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg: “The more encouragement and affirmation he receives from his wife, the easier it will be for him to discern God’s voice.”  Consider me humbled.  And if that isn’t enough, check out this take on the well-known passage in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 that McMenamin refers to from The Message:

“Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Love doesn’t strut,

Doesn’t have a swelled head,

Doesn’t force itself on others,

Isn’t always “me first,”

Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

The biggest thing that I took away from this book was that I need to let Adam lead.  Often times, I am the planner and the organizer, so I automatically tend to make decisions or have an idea already in my mind.  So combine my female multitasking ability with a personality-type that trusts my own judgment to logically evaluate the best option, and you can see why this would be a challenge at times.  This was a wake-up call to me, though, that I need to step back and let my husband be the one to evaluate and make final decisions (still with my input of course, wink!).

At least there is one area where I feel like I do a good job, and that is encouraging Adam’s dream of having a successful career in music.  McMenamin talks about wives being a cheerleader for their husbands, and I can say without a doubt, I am my husband’s biggest fan!  Let’s be real – I started a blog on this topic, people!  Despite the current financial instability and lack of a clear path, I trust that God has a purpose for my husband’s musical gifts.  I hope that my unwavering belief has been, and will continue to be, inspiring to Adam.  I think that’s a main reason why God put me in his life.  And I’m thankful that I have a husband who tries to see how his musical aspirations fit into his family life and not how his family can fit around his music!

I will continue to work on having a servant’s heart, but I know my vocation of being a wife is more than just being a glorified personal assistant!

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Confessions of a Mommy

27 Jun

Alright, I admit it.  I had a breakdown yesterday.  Albeit, a relatively brief meltdown, it was not one of my proudest moments. 

I had no idea I was stressed out.  I had just read a great blog post the night before titled, The Power of Positivity by Erin Franco.  She discusses being thankful for the small blessings that come with raising young children/taking care of a family and having joy in the seemingly mundane chores and tasks that mothers do daily.  It felt good to relate to another young woman who seemed to be in a similar family situation and have similar values.  I felt refreshed in my mission to be a good wife and mother.

So Sunday morning rolls around, and I get myself and the girls ready to attend mass.  By the time I get both of them in their car seats and back out of the driveway, I realize that I’m going to be late.  I get to church and have to park a good distance away and lug a car seat, diaper bag, purse, and toddler across the parking lot by myself, since Adam is not back from his Nascar gig in Wisconsin yet.  (ETA was 5 a.m., but they did not arrive until late-morning.  Awesome, right?)  I will insert a positive comment right now, though: My two-year-old behaved amazingly well during an extended service.  The downside of this longer service was that she fell asleep in the car for a few minutes on the way home which ended up destroying her chance for her usual nap.  In the midst of giving up hope that she would get any sleep, Adam arrives home.  Being the helpful husband that he is, he had picked up another copy of the Sunday newspaper for me like I asked, so I could get some extra coupons.  As I am flipping through the paper and the ads, I realize that this newspaper has no coupons.  Somebody snatched them out of the paper!  Cue meltdown!

I totally freaked out.  This, by itself, is only a minor annoyance, but being that I am trying to juggle a million balls in the air (okay, what feels like a million), not unlike most mommies in America, I was not happy about this snag in my plans for the day and the waste of $1.75.  I was trying to make a grocery list and prepare the house  for the arrival of Adam’s parents and brother who are staying the week with us, while getting ready to attend a baby shower for my cousin and his wife.  I am a person who maximizes every minute of the day since so many things need to be done.  There is a reason that women are good at multi-tasking, but  my mind couldn’t take all of the calculations, planning, and organizing any more!  The wheels are constantly turning in my head.  I am always trying to stay one step ahead so that I won’t make things harder on myself.  I hate proctrastinating!

If you can’t tell already by reading this, my personality type is considered to be “The Reformer/Perfectionist”, according to the Enneagram.  A type One personality, which I am, is one that values fairness, honesty, integrity, organization, personal responsibility, etc.  The negative aspects of my personality include being too critical, impatient, and quick to anger.  So for a person who has a strong sense of right and wrong, an injustice such as “coupon swiping,” tipped me over the edge of the scale that I try to keep balanced in my mind.  Seriously, though, I’m all about the whole coupon craze, but have some respect for other women who are trying to better their family’s financial situation, as well!

After a few minutes of being ridiculously upset, I finished my list, organized my coupons and we all got in the car to head to an amazing baby shower for two of my favorite people in the world!  I am so excited that my two girls will have another little girl relative to play with!  Adam’s family arrived safely and we had a nice evening.  I still found time to clip coupons while visiting with my mother-in-law after the kids went to sleep for the night. 

I am very thankful to God for my family!  I hope that I can be more like my mom, who never made it seem like doing laundry or making dinner was a chore that she didn’t want to do for us!  Every moment that I have with my husband and daughters is truly a blessing and it is my privilege to be able to care for them!

 

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