Hope Wins

19 Jul

So I’m finally able to get to the computer after a couple days of wanting to get on here and blog about a few different things that came together in my head about having faith and pursuing our dreams.  Things can get frustrating sometimes and it can be easy to feel discouraged.  It is a continuous battle to try to remain positive and hopeful about the future.  One song that popped in my head when thinking about this was “The Impossible” by Joe Nichols.  Here is the chorus:

Unsinkable ships sink.
Unbreakable walls break.
Sometimes the things you think would never happen,
Happen just like that.
Unbendable steel bends.
If the fury of the wind is unstoppable,
I’ve learned to never underestimate,
The impossible.

This song is just a great reminder that even when we can’t see what will happen and we don’t know what steps to take next, we should not give up hope.  “With God, all things are possible.” (Matthew 19: 26)

I mentioned in my first blog post in the middle of May that Adam had recently had some revelations about the direction of his music career.  That same weekend, my dad was driving to visit my grandparents in Northern Indiana and while listening to Adam’s recent songs, he saw the sign “Hope Wins” outside a church.  He decided to turn around a take a picture of it to send to a friend who was going through a situation and had expressed that she was losing hope.  Little did my dad know that this would turn out to actually be a significant message for Adam.  About the same time that this picture was taken was when Adam was being questioned about what his vision is for his music.  Adam had been very discouraged before this and a light bulb went off in Adam and his passion and motivation was reborn!

The picture that my dad took on his phone 🙂

I’ve come across some inspirational quotes, recently, that I also thought would be motivating and appropriate to share.

“Take care of yourself and continue to persevere.  Do not allow doubt to creep across your goals.”  -Gary Caplan

“Each of us has been given a destiny and a light to shine.” -Marie Jones

“I believe 100% when your heart and  your mind are in the right place and there is no pretense, great things will come.  It’s that simple.” -Jimmy Wayne

“God does not discipline us to subdue us, but to condition us for a life of usefulness and blessedness.” -Billy Graham

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3: 5-6)

“Be patient.  God knows what He’s doing.  God knows what is best for you.  He can see the end result.  You can’t.  All those problems, heartaches, difficulties and delays–all the things that make you ask “why”–one day will all be clear in the light of God’s love.” -Rick Warren

“To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.” -Robert Louis Stevenson

I’d like to wrap up with a prayer from a book that I just started reading on my Amazon Kindle called, I Do… Every Day: Words of Wisdom for Newlyweds and Not So Newlyweds by Cynthia Bond Hopson and Roger Hopson.

Lord, with you we know that anything and all things are possible.  We claim and believe that you have plans for us–plans to nurture us and give us a future.  Direct our paths to the right people, places, and things to help make our dreams come true.  Help us be patient, prepared, and purposeful.  Amen.

God has plans for each one of us.  How wonderful this world would be if we all would strive to seek His will and pursue our gifts!  Anybody have any dreams of their own that they are following?

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9 Years of Dreaming

7 Jul

This month will be 9 years since Adam packed up everything and moved to Nashville, Tennessee to pursue his dream career in music!  He has often said that he would give himself 10 years to make it, and we are approaching that mark pretty quickly.  This time limit doesn’t really mean anything, though, because we are not going anywhere and Adam is not giving up on his musical aspirations.  Adam would not be “Adam” without his musical talents.  He does not have a back-up college degree.  This is what he was born to do.

Adam Lee singing with The Players in 2006

While thinking about this today, I recalled what Matthew Kelly writes in the beginning of The Rhythm of Life (pgs. 9-11):

If you don’t know what you want from life, everything will appear either as an obstacle or as a burden.  But one of the great lessons of history is that the whole world gets out of the way for people who know what they want or where they are going.  Be assured, if you don’t know where you are going, you are lost.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Do not say, “I am too old.”                                                            

Do not say, “I’m too young.”

Tiger Woods was three years old when he shot 48 for nine holes on his hometown golf course in Cypress, California.

Julie Andrews was eight years old when she mastered an astounding four-octave singing range.

Mozart was eight years old when he wrote his first symphony. […]

Bill Gates was nineteen years old when he co-founded Microsoft. […]

Thomas Jefferson was thirty-three years old when he wrote the Declaration of Independence. […]

Oscar Hammerstein II was sixty-four years old when he wrote the lyrics for The Sound of Music. […]

Nelson Mandela was seventy-one years old when he was released from a South African prison.  Four years later he was elected president of South Africa.

Michaelangelo was seventy-two years old when he designed the dome of St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome. […]

Dimitrion Yordanidis was ninety-eight years old when he ran a marathon in seven hours and thirty-three minutes, in Athens, Greece.

Ichijirou Araya was one hundred years old when he climbed Mount Fuji.

Whether you are sixteen or sixty, the rest of your life is ahead of you.  You cannot change one moment of your past, but you can change your whole future.  Now is your time.

I love what Matthew Kelly writes about here.  I think we often give up on our dreams too soon because we don’t value our gifts enough and truly believe that God can do anything at anytime.  In Adam’s case, he often feels like his weight is holding him back.  He has struggled with this for a long time and it prevents him from thinking he deserves his chance to be successful yet.  Even though he writes amazing songs, has an outstanding voice, plays several instruments, and is very knowledgeable about different aspects of music and performing, he still lets this one thing hold such a significant place in his mind.

People are capable of amazing things with God’s grace.  He wants us to use the talents that he has given us.  Our dreams are what make us unique and give us purpose.  We just need to learn to have faith in God’s timing and have confidence that he will lead us to where we are meant to be.  This, of course, is easier said than done, but Adam and I are not going to lose hope!

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Confessions of a Mommy

27 Jun

Alright, I admit it.  I had a breakdown yesterday.  Albeit, a relatively brief meltdown, it was not one of my proudest moments. 

I had no idea I was stressed out.  I had just read a great blog post the night before titled, The Power of Positivity by Erin Franco.  She discusses being thankful for the small blessings that come with raising young children/taking care of a family and having joy in the seemingly mundane chores and tasks that mothers do daily.  It felt good to relate to another young woman who seemed to be in a similar family situation and have similar values.  I felt refreshed in my mission to be a good wife and mother.

So Sunday morning rolls around, and I get myself and the girls ready to attend mass.  By the time I get both of them in their car seats and back out of the driveway, I realize that I’m going to be late.  I get to church and have to park a good distance away and lug a car seat, diaper bag, purse, and toddler across the parking lot by myself, since Adam is not back from his Nascar gig in Wisconsin yet.  (ETA was 5 a.m., but they did not arrive until late-morning.  Awesome, right?)  I will insert a positive comment right now, though: My two-year-old behaved amazingly well during an extended service.  The downside of this longer service was that she fell asleep in the car for a few minutes on the way home which ended up destroying her chance for her usual nap.  In the midst of giving up hope that she would get any sleep, Adam arrives home.  Being the helpful husband that he is, he had picked up another copy of the Sunday newspaper for me like I asked, so I could get some extra coupons.  As I am flipping through the paper and the ads, I realize that this newspaper has no coupons.  Somebody snatched them out of the paper!  Cue meltdown!

I totally freaked out.  This, by itself, is only a minor annoyance, but being that I am trying to juggle a million balls in the air (okay, what feels like a million), not unlike most mommies in America, I was not happy about this snag in my plans for the day and the waste of $1.75.  I was trying to make a grocery list and prepare the house  for the arrival of Adam’s parents and brother who are staying the week with us, while getting ready to attend a baby shower for my cousin and his wife.  I am a person who maximizes every minute of the day since so many things need to be done.  There is a reason that women are good at multi-tasking, but  my mind couldn’t take all of the calculations, planning, and organizing any more!  The wheels are constantly turning in my head.  I am always trying to stay one step ahead so that I won’t make things harder on myself.  I hate proctrastinating!

If you can’t tell already by reading this, my personality type is considered to be “The Reformer/Perfectionist”, according to the Enneagram.  A type One personality, which I am, is one that values fairness, honesty, integrity, organization, personal responsibility, etc.  The negative aspects of my personality include being too critical, impatient, and quick to anger.  So for a person who has a strong sense of right and wrong, an injustice such as “coupon swiping,” tipped me over the edge of the scale that I try to keep balanced in my mind.  Seriously, though, I’m all about the whole coupon craze, but have some respect for other women who are trying to better their family’s financial situation, as well!

After a few minutes of being ridiculously upset, I finished my list, organized my coupons and we all got in the car to head to an amazing baby shower for two of my favorite people in the world!  I am so excited that my two girls will have another little girl relative to play with!  Adam’s family arrived safely and we had a nice evening.  I still found time to clip coupons while visiting with my mother-in-law after the kids went to sleep for the night. 

I am very thankful to God for my family!  I hope that I can be more like my mom, who never made it seem like doing laundry or making dinner was a chore that she didn’t want to do for us!  Every moment that I have with my husband and daughters is truly a blessing and it is my privilege to be able to care for them!

 

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Our 6th Anniversary!

23 Jun

This coming Saturday marks six years that Adam and I have been married.  It’s

Our honeymoon 2005

fun to take this time and think about how our life has changed so much since we met.  We’ve experienced a three-year long-distance relationship, buying a house, and having two daughters.  I’m so excited to be going out on a dinner date tonight!  We haven’t been out together alone since probably December, because of bed rest and our youngest daughter’s recent birth.  Since we don’t make a big deal out of giving gifts to each other and we don’t have the money even if we wanted to, I decided to go old school and make a mixed tape, er, I mean, CD, of love songs!  Yeah, this is just like back in high school – total cheese ball, I know!  Anyway, here are the songs that I decided to include on my playlist:

1. “I’ll Be That” – Jimmy Wayne (A fun, upbeat love song!  Plus, I had to include Jimmy Wayne in my playlist!)

2. “Just Another Day in Paradise” – Phil Vassar (We have two kids, so this is totally our life now!)

3. “My Best Friend” – Tim McGraw (Corny? Maybe. True? Yes.)

4. “The Woman in Me (Needs the Man in You)” – Shania Twain (Love the first couple lines in the song.  I’m not always strong.  And sometimes I’m even wrong… I guess Adam would probably like these two lines, as well!  Plus we’ve been watching Shania’s reality show and it was in my head!)

5. “God Gave Me You” – Bryan White (This is the first of three Bryan White songs on the list.  “Why,” may you ask?  This is a CD that Adam introduced me to when we first started dating.  This whole CD is full of great love songs and is like the soundtrack to our relationship!)

6. “The Depths of My Love” – Anthony Smith (One of the most creative love songs ever!  He’s a genius songwriter!)

7. “Me and You” – Kenny Chesney (Great song before Kenny started singing about the beach and high school all the time!)

8. “Cherish” – Brian McKnight (It doesn’t hurt to throw in a little reminder to Cherish her love, does it?)

9. “Because You Loved Me” – Celine Dion (This song is the theme from one of my favorite chick flicks, Up Close and Personal with Michelle Pfifer and Robert Redford!)

10. “How Lucky I Am” – Bryan White (Sweet song!)

11. “Ill Be” – Edwin McCain (Classic!)

12. “Gettin’ You Home” – Chris Young (I’ll leave that one alone!)

13. “I Still Believe In You” – Vince Gill (I’ve always loved this song.  Plus, Adam loves Vince Gill!)

14. “Right Here Waiting” – Richard Marx (Appropriate for being married to a musician!)

15. “That’s When I Love You” – Phil Vassar (Another upbeat love song from Phil’s early days!)

16. “Custom Made” – Andy Griggs (Cute song!  I’ve always felt that we  fit well together!)

17. “One on One” – Jimmy Wayne (Very rare, but needed, with two young daughters!)

18. “I Will Always Love You” – Whitney Houston (Even though the premise of this song has to do with moving on, I had to include this mega hit.  Plus, I needed another song by a female artist on this playlist!)

19. “You’ll Always Be Loved (By Me)” -Bryan White (This is the first song we danced to at our wedding reception!  The lyrics are perfect for our life!)

There are many more I probably could have included, such as Journey’s, “Faithfully.”  Maybe I’ll make a “Part II” CD next year…

Adam surprising me with the song he wrote for our wedding, "Here's To Me and You"!

Anybody have a favorite love song and/or good story about a song that represents a particular relationship?

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The Sweet Sound of Harmony

20 Jun

Adam and I had a conversation last night about how he feels like something is missing as a solo artist – harmonies. He feels that his music is not all he can offer to an audience without other voices accompanying his own. His songs are more powerful and dynamic with striking harmonies.

Adam has told me numerous times about how he loves singing harmony. He even wanted to be in a pop boy band in high school when Backstreet Boys, 98 degrees, and NSYNC were popular. He loved singing in groups for high school concerts. He would arrange songs and make sure everybody knew what part they were supposed to sing.

Adam has been blessed to grow up with musically gifted parents. He played drums in a band with them and took turns singing backgrounds and lead vocals with his mother and father. There is nothing like the sound of family harmony! Adam has really been missing this and feels that God is putting it on his heart to follow this path in some way.

Adam has also always loved team sports and being part of a group. He has fond memories of playing football in high school. He almost doesn’t like to think about it because he misses it so much! He is more motivated when working with people and enjoys encouraging others. He loves learning from other people and sharing about what he knows. Of course, it is still not clear what God has in mind for Adam, but maybe Adam is getting an idea of what brings out the best in him and makes his music unique and worth listening to.

And the journey continues…Good night!

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Doing the Coupon Thing

15 Jun

I started planning my shopping trips more strategically about 2 months ago when our second daughter was born. I, like several others, was inspired by the tv show “Extreme Couponing” to save money to improve my family’s financial situation. I started doing some research online and found the website http://thekrazycouponlady.com.  This site reports the good deals at various stores and offers couponing and organization tips. Since I decided to get serious and down to business, I bought their book, Pick Another Checkout Lane, Honey.  It is a very practical, well-written book and I’ve already loaned it to one friend and will be sharing it with another.

Today, I had my own “pick another checkout lane” moment for the first time. I went to Target on my lunch break to do some purposeful shopping. I was armed with my Target web coupons and manufacturing coupons, so I was able to use 2 coupons on several items. Most of the things I purchased are for Christmas gift baskets that I am putting together for my husband’s side of the family. Some of the highlights include:

– six Sally Hansen nail files/toe separators for $2
– Suave lotion for $.60 each
– Sally Hansen nailpolish for $1

I also picked up two 6-packs of Danimal smoothies for $.69 each and two small bottles of Ibuprofen for $.49 each. If it wasn’t for a small package of diapers I had to pick up, I would have saved about 60% on my total bill before tax.

To get to the checkout part that I mentioned earlier, I had a good stack of coupons to go with my items. The cashier was taking her time checking over all of the coupons and one of my Target mobile coupons (they scan a barcode on my phone) was not calculating a discount properly, so she suggested to the man behind me to go to another lane! I asked to see a manager but this lady dryly said that she was “running the front” and did not seem to be in the best mood, so I gave up easily and did not push the issue. I’m sure a more experienced coupon lady would have gotten it straightened out but I didn’t feel it was worth it and I had to get back to the office.

Anyway, it feels good to save money and what woman doesn’t love a bargain (or ten)!

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ADHD: A Gift and a Curse

13 Jun

Most people who know Adam already know that he has Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.  Adam has always been open about this and the fact that he takes medication for it.  Granted, there are a lot of children who have had this diagnosis officially, or unofficially, slapped on them, when what they really need is some structure and discipline in the home.  At the community mental health center where I work, I’ve seen too many parents think that all their kid needs is some medication and then they will be a perfect angel.  Of course, there are some, like Adam, for whom medication has made a world of difference.

Adam started taking Adderall his sophomore year of high school.  He went from earning C’s and D’s  to making A’s and B’s in classes.  He graduated high school as one of the ten most improved students academically.  He is the “poster child” for a medicated person with ADHD.  When he takes his medication he has more motivation and focus.  He also has much better impulse control.  Trust me, we have quadruple the arguments when he does not take his meds consistently!  It is a much happier home when he thinks before he speaks (and can handle my occasional freak-outs more calmly)!  It also avoids some version of the following conversation (that we have had too many times to count):

Me: I didn’t know that you were going to (fill in the blank).

Adam: I thought I told you.

Me: No, I would have remembered that.

Adam: Oh, I must have forgotten.  Sorry.

Adam struggles sometimes, though, with whether or not he should take his medication based on what he needs to do/how he wants to be perceived.  Often, he is more quiet and withdrawn when he is on his medication.  He feels that he is not as funny or creative.  People can often tell when Adam has taken his medication vs. when he has not, based on his demeanor.  There are definitely pros and cons to both sides.  If he wants to come across to an audience as more outgoing and witty, he may not take his meds, but he may risk forgetting the words to a song.  He has tried a lower dosage but he does not feel it works as well, so it will probably always be something that he will have to deal with…

Whether it is labeled as ADHD, or not, this is what makes Adam creative and talented.  It is part of who he is and what he does.  Adam would not be Adam without this mixed blessing!

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Class of 2001

10 Jun

Adam and Me - 2001

I just can’t wait til my 10 year reunion
I’m gonna bust down the double doors
And when I stand on these tables before you
You will know what all this time was for
– “No Such Thing” by John Mayer

I’m sure these lyrics summarize what Adam secretly thought when he graduated high school.  And now it’s here – the Concord High School Class of 2001 Ten-Year Reunion… Adam won’t be attending, though, because he will be out on the road.  I know that part of him would like to be there, but the other part is not satisfied with where he is at in his music career.  (Don’t we all wish to be living our dreams when we attend our first reunion?)  Adam is definitely a proud husband and father, but I know that he would feel like he hasn’t been as successful as he thought that he would be at this point in his life.  He wants to be able to support his family doing what he loves – singing his own music!  Of course, everyone measures success differently.  The fact that Adam moved to another state by himself to pursue his dream at 19-years-old is pretty courageous.  Adam is able to play music and sing professionally.  He works off-and-on at a well-known rehearsal facility in Nashville.  He has written (what I and others believe to be) some radio-worthy songs.

Even if Adam were where he wanted to be right now, there would be no “Toby Keith ‘How Do You Like Me Now?’ moment”.  The vast majority of people who have known Adam and have heard his voice have believed that he would be a star someday.  He was voted “Most Likely to Succeed In Music” in his senior class.  He performed original songs for two graduation ceremonies and a choir concert (which was extremely rare, if ever done before).  I know that a lot of people in the town of Elkhart, Indiana are rooting for him!  Please continue to support him!  I know that he appreciates any encouragement he receives!  It can be very frustrating and discouraging at times to feel like you have come so far, but have so long to go!  There is no sign of giving up, though.  There is no “plan b.”  The dream is still alive!

We have no idea what God has planned for him.  We are open to His will, but the difference now is that Adam has a focus and a mission to let God inspire and bring joy to others through his music and singing.  Adam’s confidence has grown so much in just the past month, because  as long as he is following what he believes is God’s path for him, then he knows that’s all that matters.  He cares about how God views what he’s doing more than what anybody else thinks.  How can a person go wrong with an attitude like that?!

Performing "Tell Me It's Real" by K-Ci and Jo Jo for Pops Concert (2000). That's Adam with the bleach blonde hair!

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Idealistic Visions – A Good Laugh!

8 Jun

Today, I was thinking about how naive and idealistic I have been in the past about some things in regards to Adam’s music career and my life as a mommy…

I was fortunate enough to have a mother who was able to stay at home with me since the time I was born.  So for most of my life, I pictured myself as a stay-at-home mom, as well.  When I graduated college and got married, I figured I’d work for a couple of years and then be able to stay home whenever our first child was born.  I thought,  “Of course, Adam will make it by then and be able to support us on all the money he will be getting from his record deal!”  Then, after our first daughter was born, I thought, “Well, by the time God decides we’re ready for a second child, Adam will probably be successful enough that I won’t have to work outside the home then!”  Here I am, two children later, and I still have a full-time job!  (I do enjoy my job as a supervisor at a community mental health agency, though.)  Sometimes I get discouraged, but I feel so strongly that God has given Adam his musical gifts for a reason, that I continue to have faith that we will both be able to pursue the dreams that we have for our lives.  I feel very blessed that God has provided a way for my daughters to be taken care of by my husband and parents when I am working.  Adam usually has a flexible schedule during the week, since he is gone several months out of the year on the weekends.  It is nearly a miracle that my parents live close to us.  My dad retired unexpectedly early and my parents moved down to Tennessee only four months after our two-year-old was born!

Another instance that makes me shake my head, is in regards to an interesting story about Rascal Flatts.  When I was in high school, several of us loved this group that was up-and-coming at the time.  Adam, a friend, and I found out that they were going to be playing at a 21-and-over club close by on the night of my 18th birthday.  My friend’s mom and one of her friends decided to go to the show, so we recorded a video for them to give to Rascal Flatts about how much we loved their music.  Adam sang an original song and we all wrote our phone numbers and addresses on the VHS tape, as if they would contact one of us immediately and get Adam a record deal!  Ha!  I think it is absolutely hilarious that we thought a new group would actually be able to/want to pull strings for a 19-year-old guy in Indiana based on our videotape!  Like they didn’t have enough to worry about with getting their own career started!

Anyway, to finish the story, the VHS tape was delivered to them that night and I received a birthday card signed by all three of the group members!  About a month later, we drove to a nearby state to see them do an acoustic performance/interview.  We stood in line so we could meet them after the show.  We asked them about the video and they said that they had watched it!  Later that year, after Adam had moved to Nashville, he actually ran into Joe Don Rooney at a music store.  They talked for a little bit and he told Adam that we were lucky he watched our video tape.  He also said that he remembered his voice.   Kinda cool, huh?!

Obviously, after living in Nashville for awhile, we have found out how things really work in this town.  If someone “makes it” soon after moving here, he or she is extremely blessed.  Adam has found that many people like his voice and think that he is talented, but they have not taken any further steps to help him get his career moving.  I think a lot of people who aren’t familiar with the music business in Nashville wonder why Adam still hasn’t “made it” after almost 9 years of being down here.  Adam has spent the last several years trying to find his way.  He has pursued different projects that did not develop into anything and he has improved his songwriting skills.  Just recently, he has learned to trust his talent for coming up with catchy melodies and writing good songs.  I feel that God has been molding Adam and teaching him different things to get him ready for a certain path.  Adam has admitted that he doesn’t know what direction to go and is putting total faith in God.  He is committed to working hard to better himself physically and prepare mentally and spiritually for this journey ahead.  I know that God will bring the right people along to fulfill whatever plan he has for Adam.  It’s all in God ‘s time.  Stay tuned…

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CMA Music Festival Week

6 Jun

Riverfront Park Stage in Nashville - CMA Fest 2008

It’s that time of year in Nashville when you actually see cowboy hats all over town.  It’s CMA Music Fest this week, formerly known as Fan Fair, when tourists and country music fans come from all over to attend concerts and fan appreciation parties for their favorite artists.

This is always a busy week for Adam.  As he has the past few years, he will be playing a few gigs at some clubs in town with Emma Jacob.   And for the past several years, Adam has been a tech at LP Field for the headliners’ shows.  He works a 16-hour-day four days in a row.  His job is to make sure the music equipment is working appropriately on stage.  He enjoys being able to catch up with his musician buddies who are playing with major artists.  Of course, he hopes to be performing on that big stage himself one day.

Adam on the big screen at Riverfront park - CMA Music Fest 2008

Adam will be doing a lot of running around over the next few days.  Add in some hot weather (it seems to be unbearable every year), and it is definitely exhausting, not only for Adam, but for most people involved!  It seems like summer is officially here whenever the CMA Music Fest rolls around!

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